It’s that time of year again, everyone is in the depths of transition, organization mishaps are glowing all around you, emotions are high, your goals to “not yell” are not always kept, sleep is behind but hopefully getting back into an earlier rhythm and everyone is tired and a bit tense from the “transition hangover.” You know that this season of HARD will get better but did you know there are some great ways to help ease some of the tension and teach your kids to improve their executive functioning skills?

Here is “Back-to-School” tip #1 (I will send one a week for the next three weeks) to encourage strong EF skills in your kids and foster connection with and independence for your kid(s).

Mom or Dad: “Man, this morning was rough! I felt stressed and panicked about getting you to school and me to work on time. I spilled my coffee because I was carrying too much on the way to the car and I almost forgot my lunch and had to run back in. It didn’t feel good to be so scattered. I felt frustrated with myself for starting my day feeling mentally behind – it really impacted my morning in a way that set me back.

I think tomorrow I am going to put my lunch, water and work bag in the car before I eat breakfast so I don’t have to hold onto that list in my mind and I can feel more relaxed during breakfast and be present with you. I’m sorry if my stress made the morning harder for you. Sometimes I think the running lists in my head are really hard to manage well. I want to scratch the “stuff to bring list” off first thing tomorrow to ease the mental load. How did you feel this morning? Any ideas how to help tomorrow be even smoother for you?”

By reflecting out loud about your day to your child or teen you are demonstrating the skill of self-reflection. If your morning went smoothly then use any example of what didn’t to have this conversation. As you determine what you want to look or feel better tomorrow you are demonstrating goal setting. Finally, as you determine the details of how to make it look or feel better you demonstrate planning as you think out loud about what you want to improve about your mornings (setting a goal in this case of lowering mental tension and stress) and then making a plan to achieve it (putting all needed items in the car before having breakfast).

*Take this tool a step further by creating your visual reminder when you get home. An example in this case could be a sticky note on the fridge with a picture of your water, lunch and briefcase/bag with an arrow to a beautiful sketch of your car. When you go to get the milk for your coffee or pull out breakfast items (I hope you’re eating a healthy breakfast by the way , you will see the image and remember to do that first. Creating your own image might spur on your kiddo to make their own image. Remember, kids do what we do, not what we say. (Too bad huh? We say lots of great stuff! Be a do-er)

**If you or someone you know is struggling in managing their tasks and responsibilities or in parenting their kids who struggle to manage their tasks and responsibilities, we are here to help. Please call My EF Coach for a free phone consultation about coaching services. I would love to support you in building your own tool box and learning to use the tools in your day-to-day life with confidence.Thanks!